Here We Go Again

Submitted by: Ecyoj Odabas

There are moments in this world when we become so fed up of all the troubles we had. When everything we do seems worthless… when fighting had lost its meaning. When you can’t help but blame yourself for the damages done, when the whole world seemed so busy. When everyone has left you.

You then struggle alone. You walk alone on the paths of the thorns. Each thorn gives you pain. Each thorn ruptures your own flesh. Each thorn thirsts for your blood. Though you didn’t really want to take this path, you had no choice. You’re already there and there’s no easy way out. The worst thing is, you’re ignorant of where you’re going, doubtful of everything you’re doing, cynical of all your capabilities and skeptical of all the help you’ve been getting. Trust is your only possession so you find it hard to give it away. After all, it was not long before you’ve given someone that as a gift but then after a while. he rubbed it on your face. Tonight the pain reached the brim. Your patience are all used up. Endurance resigned from your service. You started puking courage. Your being is drained with all your strength. Even your blood has reached its critical state. Your thoughts are blurred. You can’t think right. All you wanted was to give up. To free yourself of the worldly chains that bound yo. You longed for freedom. You have long wanted to pamper your hunger for happiness. You have long been searching for Nirvana.

You feel cold. Terribly cold.. The fibres of your heart and soul are finally numb because its as if blood doesn’t flow through your veins anymore. You’re broke, torn apart, and dying.. deprived of everything.. even the breathe of life.

I wanted to cry. I want tears to relieve even just a bit of the pain I’m feeling now. I don’t know what’s with my tear ducts but they just can’t seem to cooperate.

Wayback, I use to be a crybaby. I cry to get everything I want but now crying seems to be the only thing I can do after not being able to get the things I’ve been longing for.

But tears couldn’t undo the things that have been done. It could not make the wrong things right. And most of all it could never buy back the past.

Source:

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